What sets successful individuals apart from the rest? 

Is it talent? Financial backing? The right circumstances? Or, perhaps a combination of these factors? 

While these elements are undeniably important and can contribute to success, they do not guarantee it.

The true determinant of how successful one can become lies in their leadership abilities, specifically self-leadership skills.

Often, we tend to view leadership as something external; a great boss who propels our career forward, a supportive family member, or a helpful friend during challenging times. However, how often do we consider ourselves as leaders of our own lives and assess our self-leadership skills?

Drawing from my own experience of forging a successful corporate career as a woman and a non-native speaker, I've witnessed firsthand the impact that strong self-leadership can have on personal growth.

When I reflect on my own self-leadership, and the success I have been able to create in my life, I often think of it in terms of being a "Leading Lady." 

This idea was inspired by one of my favorite Christmas movies, "The Holiday," starring Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet. Have you seen it?

In the film, one of the characters advises Kate Winslet's character, who is heartbroken and feeling lost, to consider her favorite Hollywood movies featuring strong female characters. He encourages her to ask herself if she is truly embodying the role of the leading lady or if she's playing the part of the supportive "best friend."

There I was sitting rugged up on the couch by the fire in the middle of winter, watching a movie I had watched many times before, when this question seemed to slap me in the face. I started to ask myself the same question "what role am I playing?"

If your life is your own story/or movie, what role are you playing? Do you have the leading role? Are you guiding your life to the destination you desire? Are you taking a backseat? Are you the supportive best friend in the story? AND if so, how can you lead your life?

THIS IS SELF-LEADERSHIP

I devised my personal checklist for what defines a true "Leading Lady," which I use as a compass for my own life and check in with regularly. 

Currently, I work as a Procurement Director in a large corporation. I dedicate almost every day to training in martial arts, I'm building a business on the side, and like everyone else, I value spending time with my family and friends. 

So no matter what your goals are; getting fit, improving at your sport, want to compete, becoming a world champion, business success or a multitude of these pieces just like me, becoming a leading lady in your life will ensure your success.

COMPASSION

It all begins with love. Love is the foundation upon which everything meaningful is built. Self-love serves as your equilibrium, particularly during challenging moments when you may perceive yourself as merely self-disciplined.

In those times, I try to pause and ask myself a crucial question: "Am I acting out of love or punishment towards myself?" Only love can guide us to a place of true personal growth and a fulfilling life.

DISCIPLINE

Doing hard things is well… hard. The "leading lady" understands that relying solely on motivation isn't sustainable. Instead, she organizes her life to ensure she allocates sufficient time to all the life aspects that matter to her. It's essential to recognize that balance doesn't always mean equal attention at all times.

Personally, I gauge this by assessing my consistency in various areas.

• Am I consistently making plans with loved ones? 
• Am I sticking to my training schedule? 
• Are my work projects progressing? 

If any of these aspects indicate a need for more attention, I adjust my priorities. It's an ongoing process of evaluation and adjustment to ensure that I'm investing my time, where it matters most.

Written by: Maria Golubchikova| Negotiation & Leadership Coach

Ever felt like life's tough moments were sculpting you into something stronger, sharper?

Well, you weren’t just imagining it. Doing things that push you to your limits, don’t just build character; they physically rewire your brain.

Ever heard of Neuroplasticity.

This is your Brain’s Mighty Flex: This isn't fluff; it's cold, hard science. Neuroplasticity is your brain's way of saying, "Challenge accepted." When you grind through challenges that seem insurmountable, your brain adapts, creating new neural pathways. It's like carving a path through a dense forest - the more you trek it, the more defined it becomes.

Those brain-bending tasks? They’re your mental gym. Just like pumping iron, overcoming obstacles forces your brain to lift heavier cognitive loads, strengthening it in the process. Sure, it hurts like hell in the moment, but every struggle is a set of mental deadlifts for your noggin.

When you face down those tough as nails moments, your brain is taking notes. Each time you persist, your brain is rewiring itself to better handle stress, recover from setbacks, and push through pain. It's like upgrading your brain's shock absorbers for the bumpy road of life. You re-wire yourself to resilience, will power and strength.

So next time you're staring down the barrel of a challenge that makes you want to run for the hills, square your shoulders and charge at it. Remember, every hard thing you do is an opportunity to rewire your brain for strength.

You're not just getting through it; you're becoming more badass because of it.

Ever heard of the growth mindset?

It's the belief that your abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. And guess what? It's not just motivational poster material. Embracing the suck of life's tough moments with a growth mindset literally encourages your brain to grow. It's neuroscience giving the middle finger to the idea of 'fixed intelligence'

TALK ABOUT SELF-LEADERSHIP

Growth mindset is a powerful concept that's revolutionizing personal development. It's the idea that your basic abilities are just the starting point. This mindset embraces the fact that with effort, strategy, and a bit of sweat, you can develop beyond what you might consider your 'natural' talents, and athletes are at the forefront (but we will get to that later).

From Fixed to Fluid: Ditch the fixed mindset, the belief that skills are innate and unchangeable. That's old-school thinking, and it doesn’t do you any favors. With a growth mindset, the game changes. It's recognizing that brains and talent are merely the beginning, and that growth is not only possible, it's inevitable when you commit to the journey.

Perseverance is Key: It's about grit, not just IQ. With a growth mindset, challenges are opportunities, not insurmountable walls. When shit gets tough, you don’t give up; you gear up, you learn, and you conquer. Remember, personal growth is a marathon, not a sprint.

Effort Unlocks Potential: Embracing a growth mindset means understanding that effort is the key to mastery. It's about valuing hard work, learning from criticism, and persisting in the face of setbacks. It's the magic ingredient that turns potential into reality.

Transforming Failure: Failure isn't a dirty word in the language of growth. It's an essential part of the process, a stepping stone on the path to greatness. When you fall flat on your face, a growth mindset whispers, "Get back up, learn from it, and give it another shot."

Personal Development's Best Friend: At its core, a growth mindset is personal development's ultimate ally. It's the force that drives you to strive for more, to reach for the stars, and to see boundaries as hurdles to leap over, not stop signs. Whether it's in your career, your relationships, or your self-image, adopting a growth mindset means signing up for a life where the only limit is the one you place on yourself.

So, are you ready to embrace growth?

Written by: Kristy Renae Obst| Holistic Healer, Women's Coach

It's time to get real about confidence. It's not just a nice-to-have; it's the backbone of a life lived boldly and without apologies. So, how the hell do you build a mind that's as confident as a lion strutting through the Savannah?

Here are the top tips that'll have you roaring with self-assuredness in no time.

1. Embrace the Power of "Fuck It": Sometimes, you've just got to say "fuck it" and move forward. Overthinking is the archenemy of confidence. When you find yourself spiraling into a pit of what-ifs, give yourself the permission to not give a damn and take the leap.

Try it next time you are feeling out of control and your mind is running a million miles an hour with all the disastrous possibilities.

Simply say out loud "FUCK IT." I also like "I give up." Not that you are really giving up, but more you are surrendering the grip of control that is holding you hostage. Fighters do not like to give up, but powerful things happen when you actually do for a few hours in your life, things magically start to flow again.

2. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable: Growth happens outside the comfort zone. Do something that scares the sh!t out of you regularly. Speak up in meetings, take on a new challenge, or strut into a room full of strangers, take the fight. It's in those "oh fuck" moments that confidence is born. 

Ask yourself, what do I really have to lose here? I know that those moments can feel like life or death, but remind yourself that the mind is playing tricks on you. Realize at the moment you are actually safe and willing to grow.

3. Celebrate the Small Wins: Confidence builds up over time, like layers of badassery lacquer. Acknowledge even the smallest victories. Did you nail a presentation? High-five yourself. Did you finally stand up for yourself? Hell yeah, celebrate that! Did you perfect a punch, amazing! Or maybe you just made it through sparring without crying today (we have all been there). Celebrate the wins instead of picking apart all of your flaws

4. Train Your Brain: Your thoughts can be your worst enemy or your greatest ally. Practice positive self-talk and affirmations. Flood your mind with thoughts like, "I'm a force to be reckoned with," until your brain starts believing it too.

This is a hard one sometimes because if you have some serious limiting beliefs, underlying traumas, childhood pains, no amount of faking it till you make it will help. It's about moving one step up the ladder, no jumping to the top; 

If you don't believe, you are a force to be reckoned with. Try. "I am getting stronger every day." 

5. Surround Yourself with Fire: The company you keep can either fan your flames or put out your fire. Stick with people who believe in you and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. Ditch the naysayers and energy vampires.

Make a list, who are the people that bring you down. What is it that they do that brings you down? Maybe it is time for a conversation, some serious boundaries, or a see ya later to that crowd. Even on social media, follow accounts that lift you, not drop you. 

6. Get Physical: Confidence isn't just mental; it's physical too. Stand tall, shoulders back, chest out. Hit the gym, pound the pavement, or throw some punches. When you feel strong physically, it transcends into mental might. This is why martial arts is so empowering and such a confidence builder, because the mind and the body are not separate entities, they feed and fuel one another.

Written by: Kristy Renae Obst| Holistic Healer, Women's Coach

In the relentless pursuit of our dreams and ambitions, we often encounter invisible barriers that seem to hold us back - the proverbial "glass ceiling." This metaphorical obstacle represents the systemic biases, societal norms, and limiting beliefs that can hinder our progress, making it challenging to reach the heights we aspire to.

LET'S BREAK THROUGH THEM

However, the glass ceiling is not an impenetrable force. With the right mindset, strategies, and unwavering determination, we can shatter these barriers and pave our way to success.

1. Set Your Intentions
Be clear about your goals, your dreams and desires and make sure the people in the arena that you are trying to break through the ceiling in, know you ultimate goals! For example; let you boss at work here your amotions, let your coaches know that you want to compete.

2. Build a Powerful Network
Surround yourself with a supportive network of mentors, peers, and allies who can provide guidance, encouragement, and valuable connections. Seek out individuals who have successfully navigated similar challenges and learn from their experiences.

3. Position Yourself with a Clear Game Plan
Knowing your big goals are great, but no-one became a champion overnight, they built their skills, fought as an amateur, turned professional and finally became a champ. Know the very next position or step on your path and get help from your coaches. and mentors to craft a clear and actionable game plan.

4. Develop Your Unique Strengths
Identify and nurture your unique talents, skills, and expertise. Continuously invest in your professional development and stay ahead of industry trends. By becoming an indispensable asset, you increase your value and leverage in breaking through barriers.

5. Embrace Calculated Risks
Growth often lies outside of our comfort zones. Be willing to take calculated risks that challenge the status quo and push you beyond your perceived limitations. Calculated risks can open doors to new opportunities and personal growth.

6. Cultivate an Unshakable Mindset

Our mindset is the foundation upon which our actions and beliefs are built. Embrace a growth mindset that celebrates learning, resilience, and continuous improvement. Recognize that obstacles are temporary and can be overcome with perseverance and adaptability.

7. Advocate for Yourself
Don't be afraid to speak up and advocate for your worth. Communicate your achievements, aspirations, and the value you bring to the table. Be your own champion and let your voice be heard.

8. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are self-imposed barriers that can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Identify and challenge these limiting beliefs, replacing them with empowering thoughts that fuel your ambition and drive.

9. Embrace Diversity and Inclusion
Recognize the power of diverse perspectives and experiences. Actively promote an inclusive environment that celebrates differences and empowers individuals from all backgrounds to thrive. Diversity fosters innovation and can help break down systemic barriers.

Written by: Maria Goulbchikova| Self-Leadership & Negotiation Mentor

& Kristy Renae Obst| Holistic Healer, Women's Coach

Hey, fierce females! Let's talk about something we all face but often shy away from - FAILURE.

As a pro fighter and someone who has relentlessly chased my biggest dreams, I've been knocked down more times than I can count.

Those moments of defeat? They're not your enemy. They're your secret weapon. In my journey, I've tasted the mat and felt the sting of loss. But each time, I got back up stronger.

The Raw Truth About Failure: It's Not Just About Bouncing Back

Let's cut the inspirational BS for a second. We all know those feel-good quotes about failure being a stepping stone to success. But let's be real, shall we!

• When you're face down on the mat,
• or you've just bombed that big presentation,
• you didn't get your hand raised after a tough fight,
• or got tapped out too easily,

IT FEELS LIKE ABSOLUTE SH!T. There's no sugar-coating it.

Here's the thing: While failure does breed resilience (yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before), it also cultivates something equally crucial: self-compassion. And that, my friends, is where the real magic happens.
 

As athletes and high-achievers, we're used to pushing ourselves to insane limits. We thrive on that edge where most people would have tapped out ages ago. But how compassionate can you be with yourself when you fall short of those sky-high expectations?

Failure has a way of unleashing our inner demons. You know, those nasty voices that whisper (or sometimes scream) "You suck!" or "You're just not good enough!" It's a cocktail of shame, humiliation, disappointment, and shock, often masked by a veneer of anger and frustration.

Now, here's where it gets interesting. As humans, especially us tough-as-nails women, we're notoriously bad at feeling our emotions.

And guess what? As a woman, you're biologically wired to feel this stuff more intensely than men. It's not just you - it's literally in your DNA.

So, dealing with failure isn't just about gritting your teeth and pushing forward. It's about self-compassion and emotional regulation. Remember this: what you resist will persist, and what you shove down will eventually explode.

Giving yourself permission to sit with those uncomfortable emotions, to really feel them, is a game-changer. By allowing yourself to experience these feelings without judgment, you're actually neutralizing their power over you. It's emotional alchemy baby! Turning the lead of failure into the gold of self-awareness and growth.

And let's talk about that glass ceiling for a second. So many of us hit a wall, self-sabotage, or fall short of our potential because we're terrified of failure.

But what are we really afraid of? It's not the failure itself, it's the emotional tsunami that comes with it. Let's take a look at the real issues. The psychological and emotional scars that cause us to perceive failure as such a big friking deal 

That gut-wrenching fear of failure? It's not just about losing a match or missing a PR. It's a complex psychological beast that's been with us since childhood. Understanding these deeper issues is the first step to conquering them.

1. Perfectionism: This sneaky bastard makes us believe that anything less than perfect is a failure. It's like trying to land a roundhouse kick perfectly every single time - unrealistic and damn exhausting. Plus, if you are a perfectionist, guess what even perfect won't be enough for you.

2. Impostor Syndrome: Ever feel like a fraud, even when you're crushing it? That's impostor syndrome talking. It's that voice telling you, that you don't deserve success, even when you've worked your ass off for it. It is that inability to see just how awesome you are and acknowledge all the good in you.

3. Fear of Judgment: We're social creatures, and the fear of others' opinions can be paralyzing. It's like being more afraid of looking bad in front of the crowd than actually losing the fight. (I bet you are silently going "oh yep, that's me").

See, shame is one of the hardest emotions to come to terms with, and it breeds in silence because, well, we are ashamed of it! Just say it out loud now! I am so scared I will look bad! During my 10+ years of coaching people towards professional and personal success, this one has been the elephant in the room. You won't believe how many chances people don't take because they are actually living their lives for others.

4. Past Trauma: Sometimes, a single negative experience can haunt us for years. That one time you got knocked out? It might affect your performance more than you realize. Not getting picked for sports, the teacher that said you were stupid, the parents that overly celebrated achievements or criticized your best efforts. No matter how big or small it is without doing the deep inner work to process and release it, I promise you it will be impacting every area of your life.

5 . Low Self-Esteem: When you don't believe in yourself, failure seems like a confirmation of your worst fears. It's a vicious cycle that can keep you stuck. (see all the points above for why)

6 . Fixed Mindset: Believing that your abilities are set in stone can make failure feel like a reflection of your worth, rather than an opportunity to grow. You are likely operating from an outdated mind program that is in need of an upgrade.
 

7 . Catastrophic Thinking: This is when your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario. One loss doesn't mean your career is over, but your brain might try to convince you otherwise. This is also to keep you safe and aviod that looming doom feeling of disappointment, but it is kind of crazy if you think about it! We are scared of the potential let down so instead we just allow ourselves to live in it anyway. Go figure (our brains are kinda cay cray like that)
 

Understanding these issues is crucial, but it's just the start. The real work comes in facing them head-on, challenging those negative thoughts, and reframing failure as a necessary part of growth.

Remember, every champion has faced these demons. The difference is they didn't let them win. So, are you ready to step into the ring with your fears?

1 . Reflect: Analyze what went wrong without harsh self-judgment. Was it a technical error in your form? A lapse in mental focus? Identifying the issue is the first step to improvement.

2 . Learn: There are lessons hidden in every setback. Maybe that failed lift teaches you about proper form, or that lost match reveals a weakness in your strategy. Find these gems of wisdom.

3. Adapt: Take those lessons and use them to level up. If your cardio let you down, incorporate more endurance training. If your mental game faltered, start practicing mindfulness techniques.

4. Persevere: Keep pushing forward, no matter how many times you fall. Remember, even elite athletes and fighters face setbacks. It's the persistence that sets champions apart.

5. Share: Your story could be the inspiration another woman needs to keep going. By opening up about your struggles and triumphs, you're building a supportive community (and releasing shame while you are at it).

• Keep a training journal to track your progress and identify patterns
• Set process goals (like perfecting a technique) alongside outcome goals (like winning a match)
• Practice visualization techniques to mentally prepare for challenges
• Find a mentor or training partner who can provide constructive feedback
• Celebrate small victories along the way to maintain motivation
• Celebrate your failures, reframe them rather than seeing them as shameful. Celebrate them, because if you are failing properly you are learning.

And here's your real challenge: next time you face a setback, resist the urge to immediately "bounce back." Instead, give yourself space to feel.

• Embrace the suck.
• Get intimate with your emotions.

It might feel counterintuitive, but trust me, it's the fast track to making failure and the fear of it A NON-ISSUE!

Remember, it's not about being fearless. It's about feeling the fear, processing it, and moving forward anyway.

That's where true badassery lies.

if you're tired of letting fear hold you back and ready to unleash your full potential, I've got something special for you. My Breakthrough Coaching session is designed specifically for badass women like you who are ready to face their demons head-on and come out swinging.

We'll dive deep into those emotional roadblocks that are keeping you from reaching your peak. Whether it's fear of failure, self-doubt, or past traumas, we'll tackle them together. This isn't your average pep talk - it's a 75-minute, personalized ass-kicking session that combines strategic guidance with powerful emotional and energetic healing techniques.

Imagine stepping into the ring or hitting the gym with a whole new level of confidence and clarity. No more self-sabotage, no more holding back. Just pure, unadulterated you, ready to crush your goals.

Ready to break through your limitations and become the unstoppable force you were meant to be? Book your Breakthrough Coaching session with me now. Spots are limited, and trust me, you don't want to miss out on this opportunity to transform your life and your performance.

It's time to break free from the traditional, one-dimensional approach to martial arts, it's time to let go of the outdated OLD SCHOOL, hyper-masculinized ways. We're entering a new era, where mindset and emotional regulation take center stage, and spirituality becomes an integral part of our training.

Listen up, because this is important. In the world of martial arts, we've been conditioned to focus solely on physical prowess, but the truth is, that's only half the battle. Real mastery lies in harnessing the power of your mind and emotions, and aligning them with your spiritual essence.

That's where the femme mindset comes into play. Women have an innate ability to tap into their emotional intelligence and intuition, and when combined with the discipline of martial arts, it creates a force to be reckoned with.

We're not just fighters; we're warriors who understand the importance of balance, resilience, and self-awareness.

Watch the video where Rachel Rose and Kristy Obst sit down for an in-depth chat on mindset and how women are leading the charge in this new era of martial arts. These badass ladies will blow your mind with their insights and show you that true strength comes from within.

So, guys, it's time to embrace the femme mindset and elevate your martial arts game to new heights. Leave the old ways behind and unlock your full potential by integrating mindset, emotional regulation, and spirituality into your training.

This is the future, and trust me, it's going to be one hell of a ride